You meet a guy, and you’ve become friends. Then you become close friends.. Fall in love.. Get married.. You’ve known each other for over a decade, then why do you still end up questioning the love? Isn’t your relationship based on it?
Sometimes when you’re down, why do you end up thinking things like, maybe he doesn’t love me or I love him more than he loves me. How do you know? How do you even “measure” the love? And, what do you have for comparison? Movies? Books? Other relationships? But, how is that fair?
Movies are mostly fiction, you’re not going to have a perfect life, where everything is perfect. In reality, everyone has their own struggles, right?
I’m really questioning this because I feel the same way. There are times where I think that my husband probably doesn’t love me enough or maybe I love him more or whatever. But, there are some moments when you just know that he loves you..
For instance, today, I was in the kitchen making some tomato omelettes and I was super grumpy. You know, just one of those days. I was extremely irritable, and didn’t quite fancy standing near the stove (with a heavy boot on a broken foot). I was really craving some Coke (I obviously mean Coca Cola, so don’t let your imagination run wild). My husband was all ready to sit and eat, and I just told him how badly I wanted it. He gave me a lot of other options that we had at home, but I was hellbent on some Coke! I was obviously sulking a little, and continued to cook. I couldn’t believe my eyes, when I saw that he changed and started to put his shoes on. He quickly ran downstairs, walked a couple of blocks, and came back with a few bottles of coke! This might seem like a very stupid thing, but it genuinely meant a lot to me (yes, probably cause I’m quite moody right now). If I was in his place, I probably wouldn’t have taken the trouble to get out of the house at 9 pm and walked that much. I should also tell you now, that he hates seeing me have Coke, it’s too unhealthy for him. Maybe that’s why it meant a lot more. That one simple gesture actually made my day. As soon as he got home, we had a nice meal and I was really happy to have my Coke! =)
I know he loves me, and I do too. Well, that’s why we got married. But, I know, that once I get up tomorrow, I’ll probably question his love again. Maybe cause he’s not doing something that I want him to do, or basically things aren’t going my way. My new goal in life is to stop feeling that way. I don’t want to be selfish about it. Going forward, I want to believe that he loves me.. Always and forever. <3